She is beautiful...She is love...

Hi Everybody!
Merry Christmas! I hope you all had a special one...I and my family had a special one...although I am not sure exactly how to describe it...I have thought long and hard about this. I really don't want to put a damper on anyones's spirits. I mean after all, pink is a happy color, at least it is for me...

I love the holidays. I love the music, the decorations, the PINK decorations, if you live in our house...lol...I love the fact that the days are filled with happy thoughts and that people are generally in good moods and are more friendly with each other...

It's just that this year has been a different one for our little family. My daughter is in school and for the first time is not living at home. The happy part of that is that she has come home for the holidays and that has made them truly special!

My husband's parents live in Florida and right after Thanksgiving he went down to see them...alone...I worked through the entire thanksgiving holiday, including the weekend, which meant that I worked the entire time that my daughter was home from school. During that time I had to have my reviews done for the Komen panel that I am an advocate reviewer on. Work that is close to my heart, but work none the less...

So, my husband heads to Florida, and our beautiful little American Eskimo named Lily becomes ill again...she was sick with a urinary infection in the summer...so while he is dealing with an incontinent father...I am dealing with an incontinent Eskie...OK, mine was cuter...I took her to the vet and we got medicine...the vet was afraid that there might be a tumor but it turned out to be bacteria...whew...

So, Kirke comes home, and he and his brother make plans to move his parents into an assisted living facility near my brother in law in Atlanta and this is to happen the week of Christmas...we live in Maryland(can you say bad timing?)... but it had to be done...Kirke once again travels to Florida by way of Atlanta, He leaves on the 17th of December and returns on the 22nd. In the meantime he misses the wedding of our nephew on the 18th and all of the preparation for whatever Christmas celebration we may be able to plan...Me? I shop, and give the dog medicine and whine and feel like crap for complaining...because, after all...he can't help it...

Turns out he could have left a day later and attended the wedding...his brother is not a good communicator...however, the move goes well, my sister in law is a wonderful woman that deserves all the credit in the world for pulling this off so close to the Holiday and so smoothly!

I continue to shop, do grant reviews...I have received yet another set for yet another panel...

Lily seems to get a little better...while Kirke is home he takes over the medicine...I am a rookie when it comes to that...he laughs at my efforts...by the time he leaves town again she is done with it and is still going a lot and may not be better...

Kirke returns , Caitlin is home and has been for a while! She came home the afternoon of my work Christmas party and joined me there! It was a great time! Someone there actually noticed that I have lost weight! A minor miracle! (the fact that someone noticed, not the loss)

Lily seems to get worse...we decide to take her back to the vet on Christmas Eve...Kirke comes home with Lily and asks us all to gather in the living room...not good...our Lily is very sick...the x-ray showed about 4 tumors in her lungs and judging by the look of her urine, it has metastasized... So...we will watch her breathe and love her and make her comfortable and just hope that we will know when the time is right ...and not hang on too long...she is very sleepy all the time...she is beautiful...she is love...

We find ourselves spending our time with her or looking for her...lol...I am sure she is confused by all of the attention!

That was Christmas Eve...We had our Christmas, It was subdued, but fun. It was already a kind of strange Christmas for us, this just sort of capped it...

Here is a  picture of our girl...As I sat on the couch holding my daughter in my arms with Lily next to us, I told her this...I said, "Caitlin, this is how I try to deal with these situations..."They never live long enough (pets), you have to think about all of the love that Lily has given us all these years and all we have gotten from her, all the joy and love...in order not to have this pain when the end comes, you would have to give up all of that...and I would never choose that... I know some people can't deal with it and choose to never have pets because of it...but I couldn't do that, I thought it was worth it, all of that love..." I told her that I hoped that would help her get through. I don't know if it will, but I hope so...You see, she is afraid she will be back at school when the end comes. But, I can see that Lily is fading fast and I don't think that that will be the case...poor Lily...

It is true, I meant what I said! What love! Just look at this...I took this last night...I captioned it with "This is Love"

I am very sorry if this brought you down. It is really a love story of sorts. It is not over, not yet...we all go through it...would we change it? Not if it means losing the love...not me...not my daughter, I hope...

Stay Pink...Stay Happy...and Merry Christmas!